Fat is sexy!

Fat as a sex symbol.

 I was recently in a show as a model. A model, different than how I have been before. This time I was not adorned in clothing from different designers and boutiques. I was live modeling an experience of sex.

I was tasked to exude sex appeal.

 The strange thing about my body is that it always exudes sex appeal whether I wanted to or not. There’s is a double entendre that comes with being a fat body. People fetishize my body but also don’t want to actually love my body. 

It’s a weird dichotomy that exists within being a fat body. 

Love and adoration are often lost to the societal expectation of what a GOOD body is.

It’s like being black and being wanted for your culture but not the oppression. 

My body is often seen as something less than human because it’s fat, because it’s black, or because it’s queer. I’m loud always have been. Hell, I was a cheerleader for 50% of my life. 

Loud the center of attention. 

The pep leader. 

It’s remarkable to think that this fat body has always been in the center of attention on the stage or on a field however I’ve never felt comfortable in this body. I never felt at home in my own skin.

It wasn’t until I was well into my adulthood that I felt like this body was worthy of something that could be true and beautiful.

This event…being surrounded by so many people allowing themselves to be free. 

Now I have accepted that fat is sexy. 

Fat is beautiful. 

FAT is…

Love.