Moving Forward

 Siri play New Apartment X Ari Lennox

I (with the help of my support system) packed up the apartment I once shared with my abusive ex. It’s been so surreal…

I have made new, better, and more memories here since the time we spent living together…but leaving the physical space feels…overwhelming.

As I was moving I found a piece I wrote about her. 

It took me down, I admit. I should have made a therapy appointment, the spiral of flashbacks I went on was rough. 

It’s strange to think that I spent years in the warped reality of what I thought love was. Who I thought I was. Then who I became…I thought I was damaged goods… broken. 

I don’t always realize when I am not okay.

These reactions often come at times when I am actually happy and enjoying myself.

Sometimes it takes me a while to recover. Other times not so much.

I am more often than not giving myself the grace to just ride it out. 

I am in a very tender place. 

My emotions are erratic. 

My thoughts are irrational. 

It’s been a hard few years trying to regain my sense of self. 

Relearning the love I once had for myself. 

I am becoming….

I need to be anchored once more… I am just drifting.

Barely hanging on…healing, they call it. 

Also I feel free. 

It’s amazing what a change in environment can do for a person.

I am ready to release….

#TranscendingTrauma #LovelyLetters #LoveThyBelly #BeyondTheRoseColoredLens #Author #SelfPublished