Building a Self-Care Routine That Stays With You—Even When It’s Hard
Self-care is often painted as luxurious bubble baths, scented candles, and spa days. While those can be part of it, real self-care is much deeper—it’s about meeting your needs, protecting your peace, and creating a system that supports you even when you don’t feel like showing up for yourself.
Life has ups and downs, and there will be days when self-care feels impossible. That’s why building a self-care routine—one that is flexible, sustainable, and always there for you—is essential. It’s not about perfection; it’s about having something to fall back on when life feels heavy.
Why Routine Matters
When we’re doing well, self-care can feel easy. We move our bodies, set boundaries, and nourish ourselves without much thought. But what about when we’re stressed, overwhelmed, or emotionally drained? That’s when self-care becomes the hardest—and the most important.
A self-care routine creates stability and consistency, so even when motivation is low, you have a structure in place to support you. Think of it like muscle memory; the more you practice, the easier it becomes to lean on your routine when you need it most.
The Foundations of a Self-Care Routine
You don’t need to do everything at once. Instead, build a self-care practice layer by layer, focusing on what you need most.
1. The Essentials (Self-Preservation & Well-Being)
These are the non-negotiables—the things that keep you grounded when everything else feels unsteady.
Emotional Regulation – Processing your emotions in a healthy way through journaling, talking to a friend, or using self-soothing techniques.
Boundaries – Learning to say no, stepping away from toxic environments, and protecting your time and energy.
Nourishment – Eating foods that fuel and comfort you, staying hydrated, and rejecting guilt around food.
Restoration – Prioritizing quality sleep, giving yourself mental breaks, and allowing yourself to rest without guilt.
2. The Supportive Elements (Helping You Thrive, Not Just Survive)
These aren’t always essential for survival, but they help you feel more like yourself.
Mindful Movement – Moving your body in ways that feel good, whether that’s stretching, dancing, or walking.
Inner Grounding – Finding stillness through meditation, deep breathing, or gratitude practices.
Self-Compassion & Affirmations – Speaking to yourself with kindness instead of criticism.
Connection – Leaning on friends, community, or support groups when you need them.
3. The Extras (Nice to Have, But Not Core Needs)
When life is good, these can bring joy. When life is hard, they might be the first to go—and that’s okay.
Decluttering & Environment – Creating a space that feels peaceful and stress-free.
Sensory Comfort – Soft blankets, calming scents, warm drinks—small comforts that regulate your nervous system.
Pleasure & Play – Finding joy in hobbies, laughter, and things that make you feel alive.
Maintaining Self-Care When It Feels Hard
Even with a routine in place, self-care can feel impossible on tough days. Here’s how to keep going:
1. Lower the Bar
Not every day will be a high-functioning self-care day. Some days, brushing your teeth and drinking a glass of water is enough. Do the bare minimum if that’s all you can manage.
2. Automate What You Can
Make self-care as easy as possible. Keep a water bottle nearby, lay out comfy clothes in advance, or set reminders for small habits. Remove obstacles that make care feel overwhelming.
3. Create “Emergency” Self-Care Plans
On difficult days, decision-making is exhausting. Have a go-to list of small, easy self-care actions—a favorite playlist, a simple meal you enjoy, a short walk outside.
4. Release Guilt
Skipping self-care doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Shame and guilt only make it harder to get back on track. Be kind to yourself, and remember that self-care is about support, not punishment.
5. Lean on Your Community
You don’t have to do it alone. Whether it’s a friend, a support group, or an online community like Love Thy Belly, connection can be a powerful form of self-care.
Your Self-Care Is Worth It
Building a self-care routine isn’t about perfection. It’s about creating a system that supports you, no matter what season you’re in. Some days, you’ll do it all. Some days, you’ll do the bare minimum. Both are okay.
The goal isn’t to be perfect at self-care—it’s to have a practice that’s there for you, even when it’s hard.
So take a deep breath, start small, and give yourself grace. You deserve care, just as you are.
Need help building your self-care routine? Check out our Self-Care Routine Toolkit. It breaks down different aspects of self-care and offers practical ways to incorporate them into your daily life—even on the hardest days. Download it and make it your own!
